How are you?
I’m physically fine just emotionally bruised (–Just a one direction thing)
I hovered around the write button for a while now. I don’t remember the last time I wrote in my journal. I don’t even remember the last time I actually spoke my feelings out, I guess it was around my last blog post. I honestly don’t know. I just don’t know
We received some bad news and I had never in my entire life seen my mother so shaken up. I think that’s taken an impact on me, more than I’m letting myself feel. I just want to feel numb. Just clam up and not feel anything. Just study and write my finals and just get that over with. But it is overwhelming. So overwhelming
This thing, so much bigger than you or me or anyone of us put together. Ugh. I can’t even, actually I don’t even want to start on the things that are going down the drain.
So here’s me really trying to feel the positives:
- I got my first dose of the vaccine
- I finally met my apartment friend and our walking is resumed
- My school friends and I had an all day, on and off video call
- I’ve discovered some amazing new music (although all them sad stuff) because my friend and I just exchanged music for 2h. The longest time I’ve spent talking to that friend recently
- I rediscovered old music- songs that used to lit me up and now they just bring a bitter-sweet smile to my face
- I tried my first ever Lychee/ Litchi (I like lychee better) and I liked it!
I hope you feel something positive too, even if it is tiny. Like eating Lychee or watching the sky
If not, here is my second favorite kind of flower in one of my favorite colours to make you smile